


Help Me Learn to Live

by CrystalKnight



Series: Help Me Learn to Live [1]
Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: -cries-, Angst, Comedy, Enjoy!, Feels, Fluff, MM is full of real stuff, Other, Parallel Universe, Supernatural - Freeform, Things can get real, lol but this is Mystic Messenger, possible mental illness, spoilers to all routes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-05
Updated: 2018-07-11
Packaged: 2018-12-24 04:28:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 11,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12005013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrystalKnight/pseuds/CrystalKnight
Summary: Daisy ran away from home because of toxic circumstances and suddenly she is pulled into the mystic messenger world with a crash. Literally. She falls down on a coffee table in front of the whole RFA and lays there crying until an otherworldly being explains why she's there. Confused and in pain, this starts the adventure of the RFA with Daisy, unusual situations arising for the sake of the otherworldly being's amusement. Daisy wonders who truly the MC of this whole story is.(has supernatural things going on)





	1. I've had enough

**Author's Note:**

> So hnnnn I might switch up the writing a bit with the point of views because I didn't expect this to turn out the way it did. Again, I am notifying you that it will get real and be full of angst real quick. I warned you! Enjoy! :)

You just stood there crying, taking the verbal assault that was aimed at you. Your parents telling you that if you didn’t like it in their house, that you could always get out. It always turned out like this. It always turned out to a fight. And you hated it.

 

So, that day you just decided to leave. No one would miss you if you left, right?

 

You had always kept a suitcase in your car for a reason. You knew that someday you might need it because the fights would crumble your relationship with your parents.

 

You knew that your parents had a tough time expressing their love. But honestly, that wasn’t the problem. If your parents didn’t want to/had a tough time expressing their love, then fine. _But did they have to treat you like total and utter shit?_

 

When you opened up to them before, eyes sparkling with stars as you expressed your hopes and dreams, guess what they did? Screamed at you. It wasn’t worth it in their eyes.

 

When you made an honest mistake, or did something small that wasn’t a problem; such as leaving your cup of water on the counter for later, they got pissed at you and yelled.

 

Because. of. a. cup. of. water.

 

But when it was their turn to apologize when they did something obviously wrong? They just turned to you and looked sorry, expecting forgiveness. _Why did they expect better treatment when they treated you less?_

 

_And they never once apologized for what they did wrong._

Unless you brought it up, they wouldn’t apologize. Why did you have to _beg_ them to apologize? Did you have to _tell_ them, _remind_ them to say anything? Were… were you just not worth being apologized to? Was those two simple words ‘I’m sorry’ _not worth their time?_

 

Even on a special day like your graduation when you were supposed to be happy, they almost ruined it because of their behavior. It was supposed to be a day where you were proud of the achievements you’ve made but they just got so _pissed_ that you were cheerfully dancing being, you know, _happy?_ It wasn’t even lewd dancing, but somehow it was a problem for them.

 

Yelling at you to stay still, being tense, and just making your day so **miserable.** They would even make you feel **guilty** for things that wasn’t even your fault and making you regret bringing them out to be there for you. Honestly, if you didn’t have your friends there that day, a special day like your graduation would have been a terrible memory you wouldn't have wanted to remember. And there was more. So much more things they did to you that had broken you down and brought you to tears. If it was just the things that you mentioned, maybe you wouldn't be crying and grabbing your keys to run out the door after you've had enough.

 

They emotionally abused you even though you tried. You fucking _tried_ to be the child they wanted. But it was never good enough. _You_ were never good enough. And that shattered you into pieces. Both your heart and your self-worth.

 

At some point after these things piled up, you just started to wonder.

 

_Am I really that bad that I deserve this? Do they hate me? Do I just don’t deserve to exist? They just don’t… want me in their lives anymore right?_

Running to the car, buckling your seat belt, you just drove away. You didn’t know where, just away from **_them_** _._

To be honest, you knew they loved you. But the way they treated you? Of course you were doubtful. The doubt always spoke at the back of your mind. _That you weren’t loved._ You aren’t psychic. How could you _not_ doubt their love? Even if this wasn’t your parents, wouldn’t you think it was wrong if someone did this stuff to you?

You suspected that they just hated themselves which is why whenever they saw you, they would see themselves through you. And they hated that. They hated themselves.

 

**_But what they did was still wrong and cruel. No one ever deserves to be treated that way. They should have never taken out their hatred and anger on you. You weren’t their toy and they needed to realize that._ **

****

But some people, even though you tell them directly what’s on your mind, can never be saved. Especially if they aren’t willing to change.

 

Even though you love them, it still _hurt_ when they did this to you. They were close to your heart, why wouldn’t it hurt?

So when you walked out that door, you just drove off. Where? You didn’t know. You just felt all alone.

 

After driving around aimlessly but far away from your house, you turned off the phone at a red light to get some silence from the continuous phone calls your mother made trying to reach you. It was suffocating and heart-crushing for a long time while you drove. You just couldn’t stop crying.

 

Parking at an empty park, you checked real quick to see if anyone was here. Making sure your car was locked, you leaned forward on the wheel and let it all loose. Head down and knuckles white, you held onto it as though you were holding onto to dear life. It didn’t matter what happened. You didn’t care. In fact, as you cried, you concluded it didn’t even matter if you died. It just didn’t _matter_ to you anymore. You were so tired.

 

And that’s when your phone rang the Mystic Messenger tune.

 

Startled, you snapped your head towards the music and fumbled for your phone. Combing your hair back with a hand, you stared wide-eyed in surprise at it. You could have sworn you turned it off just a while ago.

 

Swallowing hard you stared at the usual app screen that appeared whenever you pressed on the app. But you screamed in surprise and dropped the phone when you saw words flicker across the screen.

 

It read _“Are you ready to go learn? I will show what it means to live. Have fun <3” _

 

Suddenly the screen of the phone shot out a blindingly bright light which caused you to go blind as you tried to cover your eyes. Before you felt your body be pulled into the screen, you saw the colors of the RFA seer into your eyes.

 

What was going on?


	2. Ow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daisy fell out and smashed through the coffee table. The people who surround her and help her when she needs help is the RFA.

The sensation of falling only lasted a couple of seconds. Feeling fresh air, your body smashed onto a coffee table which knocked the air out of you.

 

Air started rushing around you as if people were jumping back and moving away from you. But you couldn’t tell since you were still blind from what happened with your phone.

 

“What the hell!?”

 

“Did a person just fall through the ceiling!?”

 

“OMGOSH WHAT HAPPENED!?”

 

“Is-Is that a person Luciel?”

 

“Yeah V, but this person just- “

 

“Stay back V, it might be dangerous.”

 

Screams of shock and surprise surrounded you, but you could barely make out the voices as the blood rushed to your head. Pain was shooting through the body from the impact. Heart beating loudly, you could only close your eyes and try not to puke at the nausea that rose from your stomach.

 

Taking a deep breath to calm down, you sucked it back in from pain. You could feel the wood poking at your sides and back still hurting from the impact. A small whimper escaped your lips. You had enough, you just wanted to continue crying where you left off.

 

And that’s just what you did.

 

The sound of shuffled feet edged closer to you. Someone told the one that was coming closer to you to stay back but they didn’t listen. A concerned, young voice spoke up.

 

“Um, excuse me? Are you ok? I- “A gasp.

 

“V! Their bleeding!” Panic rose in their voice. “What do we do?!”

 

That caught your attention a little. Bleeding? You didn’t want to die.

 

_Funny how things change so fast once my life’s in danger._

As you struggled to move and get up, you had to bite back the pain that seeped through your throat. Another person was at your side, holding onto your arm to keep you from falling. A woman’s voice spoke up to the person holding you, slightly alarmed.

 

“Zen, you must not get close…! We don’t know who they are yet.”

 

“I can’t just stand here and let this person die on me.” The person holding you responded firmly.

 

Blinking a few times, you tried to see him. You heard his deep, smooth voice but the light from your phone previously made your sight still blurry. Even if it wasn’t for that, the sudden head rush would have made you see stars.

 

“Their bleeding pretty badly, especially from the head. Yoosung, get me some napkins! Hurry!” he barked.

 

The young voice you heard previously squeaked and their footsteps ran somewhere before coming back to kneel by your side.

 

Hand shaking, Yoosung pressed the napkins gently but firmly on your wound, trying to get you to rest your head on his lap. Zen pressed a napkin on your eyes and wiped your tears away. You flinched, surprised to feel that you were still crying. Wait…

 

_Yoosung? Zen? Didn’t someone say V earlier? Wait-_

Head still in pain, you strained to put together the pieces, while Zen ordered Luciel to take the coffee table pieces away. He also irritatingly yelled at someone named ‘trust fund jerk’ to call 119.

 

Suddenly, everything clicked into place. Eyes finally clearing, you blinked rapidly before seeing the faces of Yoosung and Zen who were gazing at you with genuine concern. Those precious, precious faces who helped you through rough and happy times when the game first released. The faces of those who, though you all didn’t know what was going on, still decided to help a stranger despite the possibility of danger.

 

Fresh, hot tears welled up in your eyes and trickled down the cheeks, Zen catching them all with a worried smile. _You were so grateful._

 

Closing your eyes, your breathing calmed and heartbeat slowed down. Just for a moment, you focused on how warm they were. How _real they were._ Snuggling on Yoosung’s lap, you settled down and fainted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, if you didn't know 119 is the emergency number in South Korea.   
> On a side note, Zen and cutie Yoosung is so sweet <3


	3. Losing to laughter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daisy wakes up and finds herself facing the reality. This was real. Being surrounded by the RFA. AHHHH!

Stirring from sleep, you lightly winced trying to move the head a bit. Head throbbing and hurting like hell, you kept your puffy eyes shut from the light that was glaring into the face. You could still feel Yoosung holding napkins down on your head, although it was starting to numb. His head shadowed over you and ever so slightly, you tried moving to where his shadow casted, to avoid the light.

 

“Hey! Are you awake? Don’t worry an ambulance is on its way so hold on.” Yoosung’s worried voiced echoed in the room.

 

Keeping silent, you didn’t move. You really didn’t want to. You were just exhausted emotionally and physically. Breathing deeply, the rest of the RFA could be heard farther away. They were discussing something, but trying to make sure that Yoosung and Zen didn’t hear.

 

“Ahhh those guys, what are they doing at a time like this?” Zen muttered, irritated.

 

There was rustling sounds to the right and you could tell someone was moving away the wood. It must have been Seven.

 

_Seven…Zen…Yoosung… so I’m not dreaming. This is really happening._

 

A tear trickled down your cheek again in relief, which Zen wiped away. In a world without your troubles haunting you, far from the family. Hope started blooming at the back of the mind. Could you live here forever…? With the RFA? But… what about your world? Your friends? Brother?

 

 _Daisy, focus on the present. They’re here. With you. Right now._ What more could you possibly want?

 

_I dunno, maybe some pain relief._

 

A little smile started tugging at the edge of your lips at that.

 

_Pain relief for my body or heart? Haha… I guess both lol. I’m literally in agony but I’m cracking up over my own jokes. That’s so stupid._

At one point you started chuckling, wincing at the pain that came out of it.

 

_I hate myself._

 

Yoosung’s leg moved a bit in surprise at your chuckle, making you flinch in pain. He hastily held still again. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to move. But can you move? You’re bleeding pretty badly so I’m worried you might have a concussion or broken bones. Can you tell me where it hurts the most?”

 

Voice hoarse, you weakly answered. “Everywhere.”

 

“Oh…”

 

You laughed. As hoarse and heavy your voice felt, you continued laughing. Pain shot everywhere as you held your stomach and could feel startled eyes looking towards your direction. Tears formed again as your voice rang loudly throughout the room. Seven tensed because of how insane your laughs sounded. Zen stared at you with bafflement.

 

“I’m-I’m sorry.” Cackling, you tried to breath between the laughing.

 

“It seems our guest is doing well despite the unusual situation.” Jumin stated.

 

“Unusual and _suspicious_ situation.” Jaehee added.

 

“Laughing when they’re gravely injured…they must have a resilient and cheerful personality.” V smiled, a little suspicious of the person still laughing.

 

Smiling wide, you calmed down after a few minutes and relaxingly sighed, looking up at Yoosung.

 

“Sorry to startle you, it’s just… I dunno, I just found it funny. I must be losing my mind to depression or something. But I feel better now. Thanks, Yoosung.” You beamed at him.

 

Yoosung met your eyes in surprise and stuttered a bit before responding. “H-how do you know my name?” Your eyebrows shot up as you felt cold sweat, realizing you gave yourself away. “That’s- “

 

Before you could say anything, though, a clear crisp voice spoke in your head.

 

 _“I will answer that.”_ It sang.

A gasp escaped your lips, the others making noise as soon as the voice spoke, but your attention were on your wounds. All the damage that your body took started to heal, white crystal stars bouncing around the body and dancing. Feeling pooled into your senses again, relief rushing throughout the body as if a big weight lifted off it. Propping your hand on the ground, you slowly sat up and found how great you felt.

 

_I’m healed?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> qwq I cut it off weakly because of lack of sleep. So I'm just gonna post it, I'm tired. Hope you enjoyed it though!


	4. Who are you?!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daisy is healed and now they are uncovering who is behind the voice and mysterious power that healed her!

“A game…?” Seven whispered weakly, the question ringing throughout the silent room.

 

Picking myself back up, I noticed how nothing hurt anymore but I also noticed how rigid and tense Yoosung and Zen were. Oddly still, I looked at their eyes and noticed the look on their faces, as if they were listening to someone.  

 

_“I’m just explaining to them how in your world, their lives are a game. BUT, since this world we are in is a parallel universe, they don’t have to worry about any existential crises. Your world is just separate and different from theirs.”_

Everything was coming together as the voice explained, especially now that my health was restored from the fall. Looking around, I was hoping to see who the voice belonged to and heard it chuckle in interest.

 

“ _Trying to look for me? I’m not physically here so instead of looking for me I hope you have fun instead. Honestly, life is hard for both you and the RFA. All of you are lost people trying to be happy and searching for light, holding onto what you have. So just make most of the time here. It’s going to be all right, I promise.”_

The voice that spoke was gentle, soft, and even caring. I couldn’t pinpoint what the gender might be but it didn’t matter, I practically swooned to the love that emitted from the voice.

 

“ _Oh, and…”_ the voice giggled so I giggled in response. There was no reason why but for some reason it was like how a child repeated after their mother.

 

“ _I hope you forgive me for any… unfavorable situations that I might place on all of you. Might as well spice things up, right?”_

 

Cocking my head to the side, I looked confused at that. Did the voice meant the RFA knowing about how in my world, their lives were a phone game? Or something else?

 

Voice giggling again I forgot these worries for a bit, relishing at the sound. Closing my eyes a smile grew on my face while listening.

 

“Excuse me-“

 

A voice broke through the giggles. I didn’t even realize I was giggling with them again. Eyes fluttering open and inhaling deeply, I turned to look at the source. It was Jumin.

 

_“Yes?”_

The voice responded to everyone and it looked like it finished explaining about the crazy situation we were all in to the RFA.

 

“If I may ask, who is it that we are speaking to right now? And as for this Daisy…” His gaze met mine and I felt my heart skip a bit. Jumin looked me up and down as if calculating me. Suddenly feeling self-conscious, I blushed slightly.

 

“Why is she here? And why her?” Jumin voiced, almost to himself. The question hanged in the air as everyone turned to look directly at me. Whew, if I was red before then I sure as hell was a tomato now.

 

But Jumin did make a good point. Why me? And why was I here?? As soon as it was asked though, my thoughts were interrupted by the voice again.

 

_“Because I just wanted it to be her. She’s here because, well, I thought it would be good for all of you.”_

Good thing I wasn’t thinking I was a special snowflake or anything when they said that, because if I did, my ego would have been crushed into tiny pieces. Nice and sparkly.

 

“Oh gee, thanks.” I muttered. Maybe I was a little hurt I wasn’t special or anything now that I think about it. Just a little.

 

_“PFFFTT don’t take it so hard sassy one. You’re here alive and well, now aren’t you? With the people that you have been obsessively devoted to and loving for months?”_

Blushing harder I kept my eyes on the floor to avoid everyone’s eyes. Heat rising faster, I started fanning myself before the sweat could start coming.

 

_Dear gosh, did they have to reveal that in front of everyone?! It hasn’t even been long since I met them for goodness sake!_

 

“What are you, my mother?!” It slipped out of my mouth before I realized I said it. Freezing, I broke out in cold sweat after realizing how rude I was possibly being. Why was it so familiar and easy to talk to the voice?

 

But the voice just laughed, as if waving it off.

 

_“Well, you’re not wrong in a sense.”_

Suddenly I looked back up and exchanged confused looks with Jumin.

 

“What?”

 

_“You may call me MC but my real name is Mother Celestial.”_

Shocked, I felt my heart beat out of my chest. MC?!

 

Voice turning mischievous, you could hear how entertained MC was.

 

“ _Nice to meet you! Now my darling children, be nice to each other and you know what to do~! Let the games begin!”_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you enjoy it? Please comment below to tell me your thoughts! Also, I finally made a chapter for this! Whoop! I changed the narrative to first person. Tell me how you think! I will be changing it all up lolol but tell me if it bothers you.


	5. What's going to happen?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daisy finds herself stuck in this world and now the RFA is trying to figure out what to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh sorry if it's not good but I am tired and just wrote this straight through so please forgive any mistakes. Have fun!

When the voice suddenly grew silent, everyone waited for it to say something, but something in the air told us that MC had finished talking. 

 

_MC? But MC-She- She's supposed to be me...? or something?_

 

Confused, you searched the ground and thought deeply but you still couldn't figure it out. What was going on?

 

A cough drew your attention again and suddenly you saw that everyone's eyes were on you once again. Blushing bright, you tried to hide your face somehow with your hair.

 

"U-Um, so-sorry, I was lost in thought. I'm just, like really confused right now."

 

"Yes, I suppose that is understandable." Jumin commented.

 

Shyly looking up to meet one of the RFA's members gaze, you got in eye contact with Yoosung whom you were physically in close contact with. And suddenly your tears spilled again.

 

_Shit, I'm crying again. Why now of all times..._

 

But you couldn't help it. You were just so _ha_ _ppy_ , Right now Yoosung was alive and breathing. You could touch him, you could breath the same air as him, you didn't have to be alone anymore. And that overwhelmed you and made your heart fill up to the point of overflow.

 

Panicking, Yoosung got some tissues out and handed it to you, awkwardly patting your shoulder/back. Laughing bitterly, you accepted the tissues and leaned on him. Freezing, he tried putting some distance at the intimate move. "U-um, sorry, but.." Yoosung looked embarrassed and awkward as he rubbed his shoulder, feeling estranged at trying to explain somehow.

 

_Ah that's right._

 

You suddenly realized something as you waved your hands in front of you in apology, showing Yoosung that he didn't need to explain.

 

"Oh, my bad! Sorry" You started bowing your head a couple of times. Yoosung started bowing back "No, it's ok!" After both sides started repeatedly bowing, Zen just rolled his eyes and grabbed both of our shoulders. "Guys. Seriously, stop." He laughed. Giving a wink, Zen brushed a finger across your cheek to wipe a tear stream of your face. "You can always lean on me if you want Daisy. A cutie pie like you is always welcome to cry on my shoulder." Bringing a hand to your shoulder, he gently pulled your head to fit around his nape.

 

Blushing, you clinged on to Zen's shirt but blushed heavily, wanting to cover your face. He smelled like pine trees, he had such a refreshing cologne on.

 

"S-Sorr- I mean!" Quickly pulling away, you bowed down to everyone. "U-um! I don't know what's going on but I could really use your help. From what MC said, I can only say that I am stuck here and I- I know it's really impudent for me to say this but can I have some help? And Yoosung, I apologize for leaning on you, I know we just met. I was just really happy to finally see you all, and I know there are culture differences since I'm Korea-American -"

 

"You're American?" Saeyoung's eyebrows shot up in surprise.

 

"Yes, I'm Korean-American. I am also really into platonic friendships, and in general I am generally a really affectionate person. If I had to say I guess I'm..." Glancing at Zen, you sheepishly smiled. "I'm a little bit like Zen in that aspect, except I'm not flirty. Or at least I don't think so. And I really love warm hugs, they remind me of my mommy." Smile broadening, you felt really warm at the thought of comfort within your mom's embrace. Then that smile faltered as you realized that you wouldn't be able to see your family anymore.

 

Everyone saw how your face fell and broke into cold sweat at the mention of your mother, the RFA suddenly recalling what MC said to them.

 

 _"Daisy will be away from her world. Her family, her friends,_ everyone. _I know all of you understands what it's like to be away from the people you love as well as what it means to be isolated through circumstances out of your control. Please help her and be there for her. I ask of you, please be her new family."_

 

When they had heard that, everyone felt empathy towards you. You are a victim of abnormal circumstances. Just by looking at your face, they could see how much color was drained from it and the various emotions flickering throughout it. Hope, relief, worry, anxiety, pain, panic, and others.

 

Saeyoung remembered his brother, Saeran. How he had to leave his twin brother behind to their awful mother before V had rescued him. Even though he trusted Saeran would be alright, he still worried. He still felt empty without him.

 

Jumin thought about V, Rika, and the isolation that came with leaving his walls up to prevent gold diggers coming in. So many walls up, to the point that no one could teach him how to untangle his threads. Lost in his own reality that circumstances as well as himself built up.

 

Yoosung thought of his family and Rika. Rika, his light and how the flame went out when he heard of her death. So much pain. Just thinking about her and how she guided him into a better path with her noble purpose made him feel like crying at night sometimes.

 

Jaehee thought about her parents and what her relatives put her through. The loneliness when her aunt would always pointed her finger at Jaehee because of something that was unreasonable. The jealousy. The lack of love. Bring surrounded by people who despised your existence in their presence felt so much more lonelier than her having to just live on her own.

 

V thought about his mother as well as Rika. Then Jumin. How he felt to be torn away from his mother through death, Rika with her madness, and Jumin. Gosh, he was so sorry towards Jumin for turning his back on him and trying to bear everything on his own. But it was something he had to do. He had to be like the sun and make sure that everyone was ok, saving Rika and shining the light on everyone.

 

Zen's mind flashed back to his family. Although the memories hurt him and pissed him off, he still loved them. Still wished for their acceptance. It hurt because he couldn't move on from them and let go. He couldn't forgive either. But his brother... he was angry at him precisely because Zen had loved him so dearly and put so much trust in him as a child. So much pain and isolation from trying to grow up all by himself while surviving off the streets. What would happen to Daisy if she didn't get the RFA's help? Would she be on the streets too? No, he couldn't let that happen. Not to anyone.

 

V couldn't see your expressions much but he could tell from the atmosphere that the air was heavy. Jumin was the first one to speak up. "We can offer assistance. It is not your fault that you are going through what you are, and I'm sure everyone could use some rest after what we all went through. We were just here to have a more personal meeting of what to do with the RFA parties, but perhaps we can reschedule this for another time. For now, we can focus on what to do with you. Assistant Kang."

 

Jaehee took another look at you before turning her attention to Jumin. "Yes Mr. Han?"

 

"Reschedule this meeting for next week, and for now let's find out what to do about the living situation for Daisy."

 

Saeyoung cheered. "We got a new family member! Woohoo~! Party!"

 

V spoke up "She could live in Rika's apartment."

 

Everyone snapped their head towards V.

 

"Rika's...?" Yoosung breathed weakly, his eyes widening.

 

Nodding V smiled a bit. "Yes, it's owned by me and I always have free space. Seven has cameras which I hope you can forgive-" V smiled apologetically.

 

 _Oh fuck no, it's where the ticking bomb is at._ You thought. But knowing that you didn't have much of a choice, you bit your lips and just smiled at V.

 

 _"_ And while you are staying here, since we were discussing about what to do with the RFA parties...why not be coordinator?"

 

Everyone exclaimed in surprise and shock. " _What?"_

 

You shouldn't have been surprised at this conclusion but you were still surprised. You weren't that confident in your abilities, and you had the help of websites of other players to help you through the emails. Doubt started plaguing your mind. Could you really do it?

 

Jumin frowned. "We can discuss the position of coordinator in the chat, tomorrow. For now, we need to get her rested. Are you feeling better? Any more injuries?" His eyes looked you over and scanned for your previous injuries.

 

"N-no, I'm completely healed." You stammered, a little bit dazed at how fast everything was going.

 

Nodding, Jumin referred back to Jaehee. "Assistant Kang, please cancel the ambulance."

 

Pulling out her phone, Jaehee nodded but started sighing at the sounds of the sirens. They were already here and she would have to handle the situation somehow. Walking out the door, she bowed to Daisy before exiting the room.

 

Calling out to her, you quickly yelled out a "Thank you!" before she left. Jaehee's eyes flickered on you briefly, and you could still see the caution in Jaehee's eyes. But she just nodded back in acknowledgment and gave a smile. You were worried at that.

 

If this is how it was going to be, you wondered how long it would take before their suspicions were gone. You were helpless, there was literally nothing you could do to get of the situation you were in.

 

Shoulders dropping, you could only sigh before Saeyoung tapped your shoulder and face you with a wide, curious smile.

 

"Hey, I know you just got here but any information I should know that will help you get citizenship to this world or not? I need to check if you need an identification card and cash to help you out. Wallet and phone with you?"

 

Surprised, you quickly grabbed your bootie at that and felt for your belongings. Squeaking in relief, you found that you had both before pulling it out.

 

_Huh?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RANDOMN CUT OFF! I know, but again, just tired. Kudos and comment if you like it please!


	6. What if I can't reach them?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daisy reaches in and finds something more than her usual possessions.

Pulling out your phone and wallet, you looked startled at what was within your possession. A frown creased your face.

 

"This isn't mine." You stated, confused.

 

Zen and Yoosung exchanged cautious looks at that. "Um... like, you don't know how it got there..?" Yoosung asked hesitantly.

 

Saeyoung stepped up and spoke what they were suspicious about, whistling into the air.

 

"Are you a thief? Being a robber is a big nono! 707 hero of justice is here to wipe away all evil acts you know?!" He poked your cheek at that.

 

Despite that abrupt question, a smirk played on your lips as if by instinct in response. "No, I'm too honest for that. Although it would be easy to rob certain people."

 

Saeyoung gasped dramatically and you laughed. "That certain person can't be defender of justice, 707 could it?! I have to say, I'm pretty hard to steal from if you attempted it." His eyes showed a mischievous glint, but behind it was some truth to the claim. 

 

"Oh I know sweetie, I know." Kissing two fingers, you blew on it and winked at Saeyoung who blushed at the playback.

 

He was about to say something before you opened up your wallet to look inside. A scream resonated out of Yoosung and Saeyoung.

 

"A GOLDEN STAR CARD?!"

 

Jumping in surprise, Zen and you automatically gripped your hearts, both beating hard at the sudden outburst. Turning to face them, Zen was about to make an annoyed retort before Saeyoung pointed at the golden card that was inside one of the pockets.

 

"CAN- CAN I-"

 

"Seven"

 

Sharing a annoyed look, Jumin firmly called Saeyoung's name, warning him to calm down. V frowned but smiled gently again.

 

"Daisy, are you alright?" V asked, concern showing in his face.

 

"Y-yeah, I'm good." Drawing the card out, you flipped it to look at it. It just looked like a debit card with a start on it, but Saeyoung looked impatiently at it as if a puppy staring greedily at some delicious food. You also noticed Yoosung who was jumping up and down excitedly beside you, his eyes shining.

 

Closing the wallet, you handed both the wallet and card to Saeyoung who stared at it with eyes as big as saucers, hands shaking while he analyzed the card.

 

"Go crazy while I look at my phone."

 

Yoosung excitedly scooted next to Saeyoung as they both looked at it and tried taking turns touching it. Before turning to your phone, you even suspected that Saeyoung was memorizing every detail of your contents to hack into the accounts later.  

 

Shaking your head, you felt nervousness flicker through you, suddenly feeling anxious at what you would find inside the phone.

 

_What if I have no way of contacting anyone? My best friend, everyone..._

 

When the screen lit up, your heart skipped a beat at what you saw. There was a note in the background of your phone. It was a note from MC.

 

'Dear Daisy,

 

Please accept these gifts from me to help you live in this world. I took the liberty of changing your phone for you to make it more stylish, and convenient. Also, the wallet contains an ID, drivers license, passport, Social Security card, birth certificate, as well as a Golden Star Card. For you who is new to this world, a Golden Star Card is basically a debit card which holds large amounts of money in it. You need to be as rich as Jumin to hold something like that, so I hope you use it wisely. Don't be a fool with your money and don't let it control you. I pulled you into this world, so I wouldn't just abandon you. Enjoy!~

 

-All the love,

 

Mother Celestial (MC)'

 

Breathing a sign of relief at a breath you didn't know you were holding, fear suddenly prickled at a sudden thought.

 

_Changed my phone?! Does that mean my contacts- No! I..._

 

Biting your lower lip, you tried to control the panic that was rising in your stomach. Looking at the rest of the phone just by the home screen, you saw the mystic messenger app was still there and heard a surprised noise coming from Jumin. Turning to him quickly, you saw that he was behind you and was whispering in V's ear; who you noticed was standing next to Jumin. V gave a surprised expression and both looked in your direction before you quickly went back to look at the phone. There was nothing you could do about the surprising things MC had done to your possessions, so you decided to focus on what has been bothering you ever since reading MC's note.

 

Ignoring them, you took a deep breath.

 

Exhaling a shaky one, you hesitantly hovered above the contacts button. Biting your lip again, you slowly chewed it and didn't notice how hard you were doing it until Zen's hand shot out to touch your lips and stop it.

 

"What's wrong?"

 

Startled, you let go of your slightly bloody lip as you met Zen's concerned eyes. "Daisy?"

 

Silent for a bit, you shifted on the ground before you licked over the wounded lip to answer him.

 

"Zen. What-"

 

Voice cracking, you covered your eyes with a hand and bit your lip harder to try and control your breathing. A warm hand covered yours and gently pulled it down, while the other gently nudged the chin to open the mouth. He didn't want you injuring yourself any further. Zen's face appeared below yours so that he could look into it, despite the tears that were streaking down again.

 

"I'm here. You're ok, you can tell me. What's wrong?"

 

Gently stroking your hand with his thumb, your breath hitched as you leaned into his warm embrace. Firmly hugging you, Zen caressed your back to sooth you and gently combed through your hair with the other hand. Everyone fell silent as you closed your eyes and slowly started to relax.

 

 _And I thought he usually didn't know what to do when people cry in front of him._ You laughed bitterly.

 

When breathing was nice and slow again, you took a deep breath and exhaled. Slowly opening your eyes as you did so, you watched as Zen's hair slightly blew into the air when you did. "I just..."

 

Finally drawing away from him and giving him a grateful smile, he returned with an encouraging one and held your eyes gently while he waited for a response. He made sure to wrap his hands around yours, and glanced at your lip to make sure that you weren't biting it again. Heart melting with love, you could have just kissed him right there for caring for you so much.

 

You finally voiced your concerns. "What if... What if I look into this phone and I find no one in it? Like, what if none of my family's and friend's contacts are in here? Then that would really mean that I-I'm alone, Zen."

 

At that you couldn't help tearing up again even though you tried so hard not to let the tears leak out again.

 

_I just can't bear pressing this button and seeing no one there. I don't know if I'm ready to face that reality yet._

 

It was just so scary.

 

V gently kneeled next to you and gingerly placed a hand on your shoulder. "We can't help that, but if you can't look then one of us can do it for you if it's too hard. We understand if you need help Daisy. You don't have to do it all on your own."

 

Hiccupping, you nodded profusely and tried not to cry again. "Y-Yeah. Then can you look at it for me? I just... I really can't. I hate my dad but my friends are my reason for living. They're my second family, V."

 

V gave a small nod and smiled as if he understood. "As you wish."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Give Kudos and comments on the end! They encourage me to write more :DDD


	7. Thank You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaehee's point of view as she comes back in the room. (EDITED) OH SHIET I JUST REALIZED I GOT MC'S NAME MIXED UP WITH ANOTHER CHARACTER'S. I'M SO SORRY, IM WRITING MORE THAN ONE FANFIC SO I GOT CONFUSED. PLEASE FORGIVE THE CONFUSION.

Jaehee came back with a sigh and closed the door shut and was surprised to see everyone surrounding Daisy; especially with the fact that she was in tears.

 

"What is going on?" Jaehee asked, approaching the group quietly.

 

Jumin turned to her as Daisy shakily gave Zen her phone. "Assistant Kang. I can assume you are done with handling the ambulance?"

 

Jaehee nodded. "Yes, Mr. Han. Everything has been taken care of. May I ask what happened while I was gone?"

 

Seven briefly glanced at Jaehee with that mysterious smile of his after tucking a card back in a wallet. "Yeah. We found her stuff, which MC graciously provided for Daisy to settle comfortably in this world while she's here. Unfortunately, Daisy might not have the ability to contact anyone from her world. She's afraid to look into her contacts to see it empty." His voice softened at that, eyes wandering to the phone. Jaehee usually wouldn't be able to read Seven, but something familiar appeared in his eyes that she has often felt herself. Loneliness.

 

For a moment, Jaehee felt a pain in her chest as she remembered her own loneliness. The empty space in her heart unfillable because of her parents no longer in her life. Death was one thing that kept her apart from the people she loved, and she was able to burry them in her heart- even if it was still lonely; allowing herself to move on. But to know that the people you loved were still alive and highly likely frantic over her disappearance? Jaehee felt sympathy for Daisy.

 

When Zen pressed Daisy's phone, his face slightly fell. It was clear what the answer was.

 

Upon seeing his expression, Daisy's eyes glistened with fresh tears that fell down once again. Burying her face in her hands, Daisy started sobbing while Yoosung rubbed her back in an attempt to comfort her. Zen looked sorrowful for Daisy and all of a sudden his face lit up. Pressing on her phone, Zen started typing on it. Curious, Jaehee peered over his shoulder to see what he was doing.

 

_Oh_

 

The corner of Jaehee's lips lifted up into a warm smile in admirance. She knew that Zen was a warm and caring person, but doing this for a stranger that he just met-it made her respect Zen even more.

 

Softly touching Daisy's shoulder, Zen showed her the phone. Slightly parting the tear stained fingers hesitatingly to see, Daisy made a 'huh?' noise before looking back at Zen in confusion. Smiling, Zen shyly rubbed behind his neck and weakly laughed. "I can't do much, but instead of making you stare at an empty list; I thought maybe it would make you feel better if there was someone in it. So I put in my phone number."

 

Daisy's mouth was slightly open as she stared at him while Zen continued. "I know it isn't the contacts of your loved ones but you know- and the RFA is already in your contacts if you get the new messenger app that Seven installed in all our phones but- I just didn't want you to be lonely anymore than necessary if you-you know, decide to some time look in your contacts... cause I get it if you decide to look at it while you are homesick and you know... just afraid that you might get hurt..." Zen blushed, clearing his throat and eyes glancing away from her in his shyness. Jaehee felt like Zen was saying this from experience and she could relate to his words.

 

_If only I had someone such as Zen while growing up when my parents died. Maybe then.. No- it is in the past now. I am alright now._

 

Jaehee closed her eyes and made sure to take a deep breath before opening them. In her heart, she prayed again that her parents were well in Heaven.

 

 _"Th-thank you Zen!"_  

 

Daisy tackled him into a hug, squeezing Zen tightly. Zen blushed deeper in surprise and started sweating at the close embrace. Frowning, Jaehee cleared her throat loudly to catch their attention.

 

_I hope that this will not be a reoccurring thing. If I recall correctly, Daisy said that she is an affectionate person. Even if the intentions are pure, the culture and media within Korea will misunderstand. For the sake of Zen's career, I will tell her more about it soon._

 

When Daisy broke the hug, however unwillingly it was, she gave her attention to Jaehee. Holding out her hand, Jaehee kneeled down. "If I may." She gestured to the phone and Daisy curiously handed it to her.

 

A wide smile broke across Daisy's face when she saw Jaehee putting in her own phone number within the contact list. Then Seven pulled the phone out of Jaehee's hands and inserted his number as well, humming a tune with that mysterious smile of his. When done, he passed it on to Jumin, V, then Yoosung. With each person typing down their contact, the more overwhelmed with gratitude and joy Daisy's expression was. When it was finally all done, Yoosung handed back the phone to a once more crying Daisy. But this time, her tears were full of happiness.

 

Hiccupping, Daisy shut her eyes and hugged the phone tight, cradling it as if it was treasure. Jaehee couldn't help but feel relieved that Daisy was feeling better. In a whisper so small, Daisy said something so softly that Jaehee barely caught it.

 

_"Thank you..!"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A fan of this work commented and I just felt so motivated that I started writing! Lol, hope ya'll like it. It's unpolished but I'm happy that I wrote it. Give kudos and comments please!


	8. Fighting My Thoughts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daisy goes into the bathroom when she finally arrives in the apartment and has an anxiety moment.

V and Seven lead you to the apartment and made sure to talk to you about certain things before leaving. Giving a warning about not touching the drawers because of 'important information of the RFA guests', they left you in peace after they made sure everything was alright. You just smiled at them brightly and nodded until they left. When they did, you nonchalantly walked to the bathroom to lower suspicion from Saeyoung's cameras and closed it shut before you let loose.

 

Collapsing roughly against the door, you gripped your chest as your breaths started getting faster. Sliding to the floor, you hugged your knees tightly and closed your eyes shut. Shaking hard, anxiety crashed into you like a flood from holding it in too much ever since reality started sinking in while being driven to the apartment. Thoughts started filling your head like poison.

 

_You're so fucking useless, the RFA ain't your therapists._

 

_You think they care? You don't even care for your own life all too much and yet you believe their kindness?_

 

_Why not!? They understand. They care! That's the type of people they are-_

 

_THEY AREN'T REAL!!_

 

_WHO CARES IF THEY AREN'T?! THEY ARE HERE. THIS IS THEIR WORLD- JUST STOP IT!_

 

Grip tightening, you didn't notice how small your breaths were. How little air you took in as your thoughts clawed itself out.

 

_I feel so sorry to them, they have to put up with someone like me-_

 

_I'm losing control, I cried so much and yet I'm doing it again_

 

_Why someone like me_

 

_I don't believe in my own voice._

 

Memories of your phone call with Jumin flashed in your mind. His description of standing in a field full of voices, yet too tired or too quiet against the current of all the noise to care. It felt just like that. So much to the point that _you didn't believe your voice was of any worth._ Because all your life, there was always someone to tell you what to be. And when you made your own choices? Insults always found its way.

 

_I can't stop_

 

_The voices, just STOP_

 

 _You're voice isn't worth it.You think it is? Your own family doesn't even find any worth in it. That's why they always tried to control you. That's why they were never there for you. Why they always thought you were wrong for being true to yourself even if it was harmless._  

 

_No- I-!_

 

 _And right now in the Mystic Messenger world? You think you can save anybody? You had choices tailored to a good ending, and I know you would have never thought up most of those choices. You don't_ really _know what to say when it counts. You can't even save yourself_

 

_I... can't..?_

 

_Course not. You. Are._

 

_**"Trash"** _

 

"Wait- no, I'm not! Stop it! Please I- I'm sorry, gosh I'm so sorry-"

 

_Tired? You piece of shit. You don't deserve to live. Because I believe that this is how I feel. You've been controlled all your life. Abused emotionally. Abused physically. Bullied at school. But don't you think there is a reason why?_

 

"Stop..." You pleaded to yourself desperately.

 

 _There is something wrong with you, maybe that's why you got all that shit in your life. Because you_ ** _deserved_** _it. Karma bites back like a bitch doesn't it? In fact- You're the bitch. Who always just lives for them. Isn't it funny how pathetic it is? They are always out to hurt you. Always coming back even though you're away from it all. Such a fucking coward. Like your abuser, like your parents, like your bullies-_

 

**_"... Like me."_ **

 

Bunching your hair tightly, you started scratching your chest. You knew sooner or later your wrists would get itchy again. A bitter laugh bubbled it's way out of your throat when you remembered something.

 

_Right. My 'friend' of mine from before. Man I had so many shitty friends. So fucking fake and in need of attention because they didn't know how to love themselves. Guess birds flock together right? Remember when that friend said that my wrists being itchy during high school was just a chemical imbalance? Shit, she knew I was depressed and anxious too. Like I know that might be true but seriously? That was what she had to say to me?_

 

Gritting your teeth, you scratched as if you wanted to tear your heart out. You didn't want your heart anymore. It hurt too much. It raged too much. Panicked too much. Relief mixed itself with the physical pain as you scratched your chest, blood staining your finger nails. For some reason, it brought a sense of life to you. The pain. The blood. It told you that you were alive. That you could feel something. It was all you could do to stay above the currents even if it hurt, but on the other hand, you could feel yourself succumbing to madness.

 

_She knew I was suffering too. I even told her that during that time, I almost decided to cut myself before my teacher called me in for counseling. But that was seriously what she said?_

 

Anger streamed through your veins, but you suddenly forced a gasp of air. Trying to calm down, you held your hand back and felt something inside you. Something that made you see a bit of light within the void of darkness that you were drowning in.

 

_I don't want to feel this way. I didn't like what she said but she... I still care about her._

 

Breathing out, you forced another gulp of air in.

 

_I'm taking my anger out on the wrong person. I can't.. allow myself... to be like them._

 

_Like the people that hurt me._

 

"Ah!"

 

Falling backwards, you hit the floor in shock. Hurriedly wiping the tears to see who opened the door, you looked up and froze to see Saeyoung holding the door open.

 

At first, his you saw the worry and surprise in his eyes when he looked down at you. Then, his expression changed to one of alarm.

 

Going on his knees, Saeyoung grabbed your wrists and pulled you up for inspection. His eyes fell on your chest first, where your shirt was torn and bloody.

 

"Just what were you doing?! Were you... Were you self harming yourself?" He whispered, eyes going big.

 

You froze and couldn't pull away from his worried gaze. Biting your lip, his hand shot up to stop you. "Please, no more. Please don't hurt yourself anymore." Saeyoung whispered, golden eyes pleading with a certain sadness you haven't seen before. For some reason, that pain in his eyes was enough to make you tear up and stiffly nod; making sure you released your lip from your teeth. Exhaling in relief, he finally tore his eyes away from yours and picked you up in his arms. Squeaking, you blushed at the sudden action and automatically protested.

 

Ignoring your protests, he just carried you to the bed and V stepped behind him with a first aid kit.

 

"I smelled blood and overhead your conversation." He explained at the surprised noise that came from your voice.

 

"I-ah- I-I'm sor-sorry Ji-Jihyun, Saey-young" You stuttered. Both men froze and it took you a moment to realize that you called them by their real names.

 

"A-Ah! Sorry, I know you don't like to be called that." Apologizing, you tried bowing your head only to wince in pain. Looking down, you finally got a good look at the wounds you made out of yourself. A faint voice whispered in the back of your mind when you saw it.

 

_Your worst abuser...is you..._

 

Instinctively, your teeth sank into your lips before a disapproving noise came from V. Suddenly aware of your bad habit, you hastily stopped. V smiled at that and shook his head. "No need to apologize. MC already told us that you knew. It would be better if you don't call us that in front of others though, especially Saeyoung..."

 

Glancing at Saeyoung, you saw how tight his jaw was while getting the disinfectant out and looked down. "R-right. Sorry."

 

Sighing, Saeyoung looked up at you in permission to clean your chest. "You need to stop apologizing so much. May I treat you?" He asked, cocking a brow at you.

 

Nodding with a blush, you held still and grimaced painfully while he cleaned. V carefully walked over to the trash bin to throw away the bloodied cotton balls and the voice whispered again.

 

_I'm trash_

 

Balling your fists, you tucked them in under your butt to prevent yourself from doing any thing. You painfully turned away from the sight of the trash can and your lips shook. It took some will power to make sure you didn't bite them again.

 

Silent, Saeyoung's eyes glanced up at you from his work but said nothing. You could feel his presence and heat rose from your throat to your face. From your emotions or from the pain, you didn't know anymore. But you knew he could sense a bit of what was going on. 

 

When he looked back at your chest, you relaxed a bit and looked down to watch him. When he moved his head a bit, you caught the affliction in Saeyoung's eyes. And at first, you didn't know why. Searching for an answer in your head, an image of Saeran emerged in you.

 

"Ah.."

 

Looking up, Saeyoung cocked a brow in curiosity. "Hm?"

 

"Oh, nothing. Don't worry." You blushed deeper at how your voice cracked and just turned to look at the side. Sucked into your thoughts again, you didn't notice how V and Saeyoung caught the sorrow in your eyes when you thought about Saeran.

 

_The way Saeyoung is looking at my wounds, it must remind him of his brother. He must have gotten many wounds from their mother._

 

Your chest tightened sharply at that, and sub-consciously, you brushed your hand against Saeyoung's head. You didn't notice how he held still in surprise, still brushing his hair back and gently continuing even when he looked up at you with a red face.

 

_... Saeran. I will save you. And not just that... I will make sure your brother is happy too. Everyone, in fact, if possible. I love them all too much._

 

Your hand slid down to cup his cheek and brush your thumb against his cheek, still not noticing while you were lost in your thoughts.

 

"H-Hey" Saeyoung blushed harder, trying to catch your attention. V chuckled at the scene. "She doesn't seem to realize she's doing it. I'm surprised Daisy can do this so naturally. It seems what Daisy says about being an affectionate person is true. Quite possible air-headed as well."

 

 _I need to be the person who is the most positive influence to myself too, if I want to help anyone. It's ok... if I save myself as well._  

 

Gaze turning to him, you closed your eyes and held Saeyoung's hand up; kissing his fingers lightly.

 

He quickly pulled his hand away and you heard an "oh my" from V, bringing you back to reality. In front of a tomato whose face was as red as his hair. Laughing airily, you waved a hand.

 

"Sorry sorry, affection is second nature to me. I'll try not to do it again if you don't want me to."

 

Opening his mouth, Saeyoung stayed red and turned away shyly. In a low voice that you barely just caught, you heard him say "W-well, it's not like I hated it."

 

"What was that?"

 

"N-Nothing!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Der... Well hope you liked it. And don't worry, she's not hallucinating or anything. It's just that just like everyone, she has terrible thoughts but she herself, doesn't exactly know how to deal with them. So she is always fighting and beating herself up over it. 
> 
> On a serious note, if any of you relate to this then- *hugs deeply* Love you and you deserve all the proper love in the whole world. You are worth every good thing in this world, don't ever let anyone make you think less. Love you and be happy. <3 
> 
> God bless you all and have a nice day!


	9. Coming Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daisy confesses what has been plaguing her heart lately. She has grown gradually sick contemplating if she should tell everyone the truth about something and decides to go for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woah has it been a while since I uploaded. I didn't edit it so please forgive my writing. Enjoy! ^^

You woke up with a start, breathing heavily. It felt like smog was in your chest as anxiety overwhelmed you. You looked around and told yourself that you were ok, that you were safe, that you were in your own place. Away from them. Away from it all. 

 

And then it stung you. 

 

Your chest starting stinging with pain and tears welled in your eyes as you draped your arm to cover your eyes while laying in bed. These nightmares were enthusiastic things to you at first because you were always positive about seeing the bright side of things, even though the beginning days of being in the RFA were a rocky start. But it was hard to become emotionally stable when all the nightmares and lack of sleep started affecting you slowly, eating away at you like a parasite. 

 

Breathing deeply in and out, you calmed yourself while tears poured out. It was suffocating honestly. You remembered the nightmares so vividly at times and other times they disappeared from your memory. But that never stopped it from taking a toll on the emotional as well as physical health. 

 

* * *

 

 

Yoosung looked up in a daze at the ceiling. He didn't know what to say or do except be there for Daisy. Her confession at the chatroom made tears fog his eyesight. What could he say to make her feel better?

 

* * *

 

_Daisy: I have been having nightmares lately. And I don't remember when it started but I think it's from stress. And I'm not talking about the stress from what has been happening lately. That's not what is causing it, because I realized what it was after a while._

 

_Yoosung: Yes?_

 

_Daisy: I'm stressed because I... because of rejection. And fear. And anxiety. I'm... bisexual._

 

_Yoosung: Bisexual? You mean gay?_

 

_Daisy: Bisexual means I am attracted physically and/or romantically to both sexes._

 

_Yoosung: Is that... why your stressed out? Because you're bisexual?_

 

_Daisy: No. That's not why. It's because... I have been afraid of being rejected... from my parents. And the rest of my family. They aren't with me now and I just-_

 

_Yoosung: Daisy?_

 

_Daisy: ..Yoosung... When I found out I was bisexual, I was actually happy to know more about myself. But I felt repulsed at myself because of what I grew up being conditioned to believe. Because I grew up in an enviorment that frowned or ignored gay people. And the LGBT community. For a moment, I hated myself and wondered why I was this way. But after I grew to accept it, I started getting nightmares. And I think I know why._

 

_Daisy: When I still believed I was straight, I asked my parents this. 'Would you still love me if I was gay?'_

 

When Yoosung read that, he looked uncertain at the screen. Her parents wouldn't have-?

 

_Daisy: My dad said of course, but he betrayed my expectations the most when I needed his support multiple times in my life. So I couldn't be confident that he would come through when I really needed it. Even though he said that, I was still insecure. And when I asked my mom this, she immedietly said no._

 

Yoosung froze in disbelief.

 

_Yoosung: No? But they are your parents! How would they stop loving you just because of your sexual orientation?!_

 

_Daisy: I don't know. At first I just laughed it off. But I guess it really weighed on my mind. Because shortly after that, I started getting the nightmares. And the most vivid one was when I confessed to my uncle that I was bisexual. He isn't the most open-minded person so when he found out, I remember the next thing that happened was that his phone rang and I looked at the caller ID. It was one from a religious organization that persecuted gay people and the LGBT community. I started panicking and when I received the phone call for him, I heard my name being called out before I gave it to my uncle._

 

_Daisy: I couldn't believe he ratted out on me to an organization that could possibly murder me with hatred and ignorance. Me, a person who has known him for years but all of a sudden he decided to somehow tell this organization that I'm gay when it's well known for being hostile towards the LGBT community. I've heard hate crimes being committed before and seen a video of a LGBT person being forced into submission and taken away before their body arrived dead. I was freaking out and confessed to my parents that I was bisexual before they found out through another person._

 

_Daisy: My dad was alright with it, and my mom was confused at to what was going on because she can't understand English all too well so he explained to her that it'll be alright even if I am bisexual. My uncle finished talking on the phone with the organization and I was in max panic mode. He said they were talking about a Beatrix person when my name was mentioned. And I was almost in tears at that point. I told him 'I love you uncle, but you have to understand why I'm like this.'_

 

_Daisy: I explained my fears to him, telling him that I knew someone who lost everything because they were transgender and was on the streets. There was another person who had to flee their country because they were being hunted down for being gay. They were going to be murdered by their own country. And all this time, my uncle looked at me in doubt and shook his head the whole time I explained, saying 'No, no such thing happens in this world.' I **knew** these people, I had proof, but no matter how much evidence I gave him, he never listened. _

 

**_Jaehee Kang has entered the chatroom_ **

 

_Jaehee: It is true that people in this world has been discriminated against, to the degree that Daisy has mentioned. Is that why your health..?_

 

_Diasy: Yes. It's why my health has been unstable. I haven't eaten well, I've haven't been sleeping great. Gosh I hate to sleep now, I go to bed knowing I won't get good rest. But you know what hurt the most about that dream? It's that the whole time, he wasn't even paying attention to me properly. He was sitting on the couch and in the middle of me explaining, he started looking towards the TV and I knew I had lost him. He refused to believe me, he refused to listen properly, he didn't even try. He was supposed to be **family** and yet he wasn't even willing to try to understand me. _

 

Yoosung held his phone tightly. His hand shook while he was gripping it and Rika flashed his mind. Rika and what he knew of her adoptive parents. 

 

_Daisy: Even though it was only a dream, I've been carrying anxiety and panic this whole time. When I breathe, sometimes it gets irregular all of a sudden and my chest pounds. When I think of someone I love rejecting me, I feel my chest stinging. While I lived back in my world, I was afraid of the truth coming out so I stayed hidden in the closet. What if they kicked me out? I was jobless, I wasn't full of connections to call out to if I needed help. I'm not good at a lot of things, and finding jobs was the hardest thing for me. I got rejected so many times from companies, how much worse would it be if the privileges of having a home address and phone were taken away? The world has changed so I can't simply work anywhere and expect to be hired. I tried so hard to get this associates degree and yet the area I lived in had only retail and food related jobs. **How would I be able to survive?**   **I wouldn't be able to. I would die on the streets like a stray dog and no one would know what happened to me.**_

 

_Yoosung: Daisy, that isn't-_

 

_Daisy: Isn't what? Isn't true? It could be damn well true Yoosung, I've seen and read people going through the exact same thing and sometimes, they had no real place to go to. Many people are out on the streets for varies reasons, and being gay happens to be one of them._

 

_Jaehee: As sad and unfortunate as it is... she is right. Having no where else to go, being afraid of having no real home when you're helpless and vulnerable- that is something that terrifies you to the core._

 

_Yoosung: You... you have experienced those feelings before Jaehee?_

 

_Jaehee: ..yes.. I have._

 

_Daisy: Jaehee.._

 

_Jaehee: ... I need to leave now. Mr. Han is calling me for a new cat project._

 

_Daisy: Damnit Jumin._

__

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please kudos, subscribe and if you'd like- buy me a boboa tea?
> 
> http://ko-fi.com/jeweledcrystalknight


	10. After therapy

You were crying after the emotional talk with your therapist. It was hard enough having to deal with the new world you were in, but after a few weeks, you realized that just because you were far away from your family doesn't mean your problems disappeared with them. Of course, you couldn't tell the therapist that you came from another world and all, but you were able to come up with the excuse that certain job opportunities forced you to move into a country unfamiliar to you. 

 

Sitting on the bench in the middle of the fall night, the tears didn't stop falling. And the thing is, you didn't want it to stop. All this pain was overwhelming and you didn't realize how emotionally numb you were until the therapist pointed it out. Especially by using humor and a cheerful attitude to cover it all up or ignore it until now. 

 

_Saeyoung... we are too alike. I wish... I wish we didn't do this to ourselves. It hurts. It hurts so much and sometimes we don't know how to handle it. Sometimes we don't even think we're worth the help either and that's what self destructs us. God, please help Saeyoung realize he's worth it too. Please God, let both Saeran and Saeyoung know..._

 

Breath hitching, the cold air sucked sharply into your chest.

 

_The RFA... V, Jumin, Hyun, Yoosung, and Jaehee.... maybe even Rika.... we all deserve to know that we are worth the help. Maybe then... we wouldn't have turned out the way we have. Empty and confused. And sometimes even twisted. If only someone would have given us that knowledge sooner._

 

"B-Babe?"

 

Flinching, you swiftly looked up and was shocked to see Zen standing in front of you. 

 

"Zen?!" 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess I'm back in the game for now :D


	11. Thinking of her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zen thinks about Daisy and finds her in the park

Zen was jogging in the park that was near his apartment room to clear his head this night. He had put in at least 3 miles until he started slowing down his pace. Sweat trickled down his neck and while running, Daisy popped into his head. For the past few weeks, Daisy has been working endlessly for the RFA parties that they were all planning. In one hand, it was reassuring that she was able to get a lot done for the sake of the party. For a person who had no experience in setting up these events, she did a fine job as a party coordinator. On the other hand, Zen worried about Daisy's health quite frequently.

 

While working through the parties, Daisy would often tend to the members. If she wasn't physically helping them such as getting food for Jaehee or helping him with his lines, she was emotionally helping all of them along the way. They were grateful for all the love she showered them with, but it apparent that it was getting too much for her. So they would also care for her as much as they could. Yoosung would play games with her and make her his special omelets, Jaehee would treat her to coffee, Jumin actually allowed Daisy to play with Elizabeth the third (which surprised everyone and got jealous cries out of Seven), Seven went out for drives with her, and Zen himself would do facial mask days with her.

 

Honestly, sometimes it didn't feel like it was enough at times. They were so grateful to her and wanted to do more, but a lot of the times when they would go further to make her happy, she would refuse their kind acts. It broke Zen's heart when he saw in her eyes how much she didn't see herself worth any of it. So even though they wouldn't push her too hard, they would be persistent in doing at least the little things for her. Things such as getting her a drink from time to time without asking, or even making her feel special with a flower. Of course they would do this along with their usual stuff such as reminding each other to be healthy and asking if they have eaten or not. 

 

From time to time, the rest of the members would secretly message each other to see how they could make Daisy's life a little bit easier and livelier. Although she was stubborn, they figured out that when they did certain activities _with_ her instead of by herself, she was more willing to accept it. Yoosung figured this out when he saw Daisy eyeing a movie poster while they were at the mall. The young blonde knew that if he tried to buy movie tickets for her, she would refuse and say that she is able to support herself so there was no need to worry. So instead he struck a deal with her. If she bought the tickets, he would buy the popcorn and drinks. He explained to her that he reallllly wanted to do something for her and did a charming puppy eyed face. In the end, Daisy agreed with a fit of giggles. 

 

Something Jumin discovered about her as well was that she didn't care for materialistic love as much. It kind of baffled him when Daisy refused any physical gifts he offered her. Even payment when she watched over Elizabeth the third. That wasn't how Jumin ran things as a business man. For any type of service, it should be returned with payment. And with the past relationships Jumin had witnessed, he thought that giving objects would make Daisy happy. But she had refused all of it saying that she had no interest in such things and that Jumin should save his money and return it all. Anything he bought, she could obtain easily herself with the card that MC had first provided her. So after some time talking, Jumin and Daisy were able to come to an agreement. Instead of a pricey gift or money, he would reward her with his time. So even an hour with Daisy in his penthouse playing with Elizabeth the third together, was priceless to her.

 

It was pretty obvious that Daisy's values were different just like everyone else's but when Jumin mentioned this to the rest of the members, Zen's heart melted. 

 

_She really is something._

 

Panting, Zen slowed down his pace as he returned to reality. Pulling his headphones out of his ears, a soft cry caught his attention.

 

"Hm?"

 

Looking around, Zen's eyes drifted to a small figure hunching over a bench. From the looks of it, it was a lady shaking from the cold. But when he got closer, he heard sounds of crying. Instantly worried, Zen walked over slowly to the person so as to not scare them. 

 

She didn't seem to notice and when he finally got close enough, he saw a familiar face. Shocked, Zen called out to her. "B-Babe?"

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> So did you like it? Please comment below to tell me how you felt! And what you think of course lol :) Constructed criticism is also welcome.


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